Why You Can't Be Friends With Your Ex

During a break-up, there are all sorts of words said and lines dropped. When a once-good relationship is ending, it’s not uncommon for one of the two people involved to drop the “let’s be friends” line. Though it sounds good at the time, being friends after breaking up usually isn’t a wise idea. Blessing Ukemena writes, with reports from Madamnoire.com.

It doesn’t allow you to move on
When you stay friends with your ex, there will always be a part of you that yearns and aches for him/her. By remaining friends, you will never fully allow yourself to move on and find someone new. This will hold you back from dating, and it will definitely hinder your ability to find love again.


You’ll have to create barriers
Just a few weeks ago, you two were telling each other everything under the sun. Your personal problems, your emotions, and your thoughts. However, being just friends may make you feel as though you have to limit what information you now share with each other. This makes for a tough friendship.

Its emotional torture
So, you two decide to hang-out and go to dinner together just as friends. You’re having a good time, laughing and smiling, and suddenly your feelings for him come rushing back. You want to hug him, kiss him, touch him, but you can’t, because you’re just friends. That is just pure emotional torture.

It creates false hope
Even if you don’t want to admit it, there is always going to be a sense of false hope, if you stay friends with your ex. That false hope is either going to impact you, him, or both of you. It’s likely that one of you secretly hopes that by staying friends, you can eventually start to date again and things will get back to how they were.

You’re taking a step back
When you’re dating someone, you’re bound to see and do things that you wouldn’t do if you were just friends. You’ve seen each other unclothed, done some crazy things in bed, and you’ve learned things that you otherwise wouldn’t know if you were strictly friends from the get-go. These past experiences can make being just friends extremely complicated.

It’s awkward for your families
You met his mom, she loved you. Your dad became really good friends with your ex. By becoming just friends, your families are also put into an odd position. How are they supposed to treat your ex, and vice versa? Do you still hang out with them, or have dinner together? It creates way too many questions.

You can’t really start fresh
Going from a couple to just friends doesn’t allow for a fresh start. Instead, there’s sure to be plenty of mixed signals. You’re used to calling each other pet names and all of your inside jokes are still alive and well. You two are bound to act like you did when you were a couple, even though you’re no longer dating. The situation becomes outright confusing.

It’s unhealthy
You’ve both been hurt by the relationship ending, and even as friends, you’re probably still going to be hurting. The longer you two are hanging out and seeing each other, the longer the hurt is going to be there. This is why it’s best to break things off completely, and instead invest yourself in people and activities that make you happy and allow you to heal and move on.

You’re the perfect hook-up target
Ex sex is easy, it’s convenient, it’s comfortable, and it’s something you know. However, it is not healthy or ideal. If you two start hooking up here and there, not only are you crossing the boundaries for being just friends, but you complicate the entire situation, and before you know it, you may be back into the circle of dating, breaking up, and becoming friends.

You may ruin the chances of future friendship
Nothing says that you two can’t be friends in the long run, once you two have moved on and gotten over each other as well as the hurt from breaking up. By becoming friends right after breaking up, you may ruin your chances of having a solid friendship in the future. It’s best to wait and let the dust settle before jumping into a friendship.