Nollywood actor “Stella Damasus” shares her experience

Sometimes I sit down and try to take stock of my life and it's numerous stages. It amazes me to see how far I have come even in the midst of the storm. God is indeed faithful to those who love and serve him. Growing up was a bit funny for me outside the walls of my home. I grew up in a wonderfully balanced family with a lot of love and care from both my parents who were bankers, my older sisters who taught me so much and even my late kid brother even though his time was short. For some reason I thought there was something wrong with me and I will tell you why. 

I realized that, in school my name always came up whether or not I was a part of the issue. People just loved to talk about me, most of the time it was more negative than positive.

Even if I was not guilty of whatever they accused me of, they would still go on and on. This was such a huge problem to me as a young girl, to the point that I was not able to enjoy boarding school. I thought the world hated me and i did not fit in, and that was when I heard that people called me an "OSU", which means OUTCAST, just because of my surname. 

That actually made me laugh at the end of the day seeing that most people did not even know the origin or history of my name. As funny as this might sound I started avoiding people, I did not want to make friends so I had only two of them. Deep inside my heart I would think hard and try to trace the source of these issues. It made me believe the saying "there is no smoke without fire", so for people to say all this about me there must have been things I did that triggered the talk and the hatred. Now I know better because the world has changed so much that all you need to do to attract so much hatred and jealousy, is to EXIST. After thinking so for so long I arrived at the same answer as before which was "I am not a bad person and I have not done anything to deserve this". No matter how hard I tried to believe my truth, people just had a way of putting me in a box. 

This was entirely my fault because now I know for sure that no one can put you in a box unless you let them. After so many years of being paranoid about what people were saying about me, I finally opened up to my parents. My mother laughed so hard that I wondered if she heard a word of what I said. That was when my father (God rest his soul) looked at me and said "have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror? Have you not noticed how beautiful you are, or are you saying you do not know you are intelligent"? At that point I just felt it was a normal encouragement line that a parent would give his child to make them feel better, but I soon realized it was far from it. Then he said "can't you see that you are different because you are special? Do you need anyone to tell you how blessed you are?I looked at him and said "but daddy if I am all these things, how come people say all these bad things about me? At this point I was almost crying, but in his usual way he looked at me and said "my friend! Will you stand firm and listen to me? You and your sisters are special, in fact very rare in a good way. You are like further mathematics". "Ah ah daddy what is further mathematics doing in this matter?" I had to ask that question to know we were on the same page. My dad went ahead to explain, he said "further mathematics is a subject just like every other one, there is nothing evil or bad about it but people hate it so much. They hate it because they believe it is very difficult. Now it is difficult for them because they don't understand it. People hate what they don't understand and the truth is that only very few patient and intelligent people will diligently study and understand it. When they do, they become geniuses and professors. 

So if people don't understand you and can't place a tag on you, they will see you as a difficult thing. Most people might not know how to handle your intimidating presence even when you don't say a word. As a result they will end up saying negative things about you since they can't stand the strength of your existence. “So my dear why don't you focus your energy on the few who understand you and the positive things your existence should bring?" 

 That day changed my whole life so much, I was so grateful to my father for what he taught me. As I was about to leave, my mother called me and said "there are three types of people in this world A: those who were born to be talked about because of who they areB: those who were born to talk about others because that is all they areC: those who were born to observe because they don't know who they are Which one would you rather be my dear?"I smiled because I knew that I was a TYPE A.  

After that day I promised myself that I would never allow people who don't even know me, make me feel like I was not worth it. It is very easy to sit down and talk about others, judge them and try to destroy their reputation. In actual fact your problems are much bigger than you can carry, so you use idle talk to run away from your own issues. Guess what, after you are done talking about others, your problem that has been chilling on your bed will be waiting for you to come back and give it a big hug.When you think about life, you might have a different analogy about God, the world and man.  

This is how I see it; God the creator sets a mini clock on every human being, he opens his big shopping mall which is the earth. Then he gives us all a shopping list to go into the shopping mall and buy everything on our list. He also sets the clock to a time which he knows should be enough for us to finish our shopping. Bear in mind that everybody has a different list, and from the moment he hands you the money (talent, skills, health, wisdom, brain, etc) and your list, your own clock starts to count. So imagine that we have all come to this shopping mall, you see Stella walking in and out of shops buying the things on her list. 

Then you stop and start to laugh at her ugly shoes, you call your friends and start to talk about the old fashioned chair she bought. Stella walks past you again and you start to laugh at her cheap weavon and the fact that there is too much blue in her eye shadow. In all of this you are so caught up in your psycho analysis and gossip about Stella, that you forget that your clock is still ticking away. Meanwhile the person you are talking about is trying her possible best to buy everything on her shopping list, and make it back home early before she runs out of time. This is what will happen; Stella will finish buying the items in her list, and go home right on time. 

On the flip side, you who have wasted more than half your own time following someone around, so eventually, you will not be able to finish buying the things on your list before the shop closes and your time is up. A lot of people have filled up the graves with DEAD DREAMS and VISIONS. They spend the life Span and energy God has given them for their own purpose on others and waste time minding other people's business. It is so sad and painful but most importantly it does not make sense to me especially for adults.Some people say it is as a result of joblessness but I disagree. 

I insist that if you have time to talk about others, then you should have time to try and discover yourself, spend time knowing who you are. What is your purpose on earth?What are you supposed to be doing at this point in your life? Are you Satisfied with where you are right now?Are you doing what you have always wanted to do? Are you adding value to people around you?Are you ready to take your situation to the next level?What do you want to be remembered for? What are your ambitions?Have you accomplished up to half the things you set for yourself?  

Trust me  if you spend your time trying to answer all these questions and work on them, you will find that you won't have time for idle talk, you Will also realize that you don't have enough hours in a day to do the things you really want to do especially the things that you love. My question to you is "what type of person are you"? TYPE A, B or C I know who I am and I have no apologies for it. So I hope you will make it out of the shopping mall at the right time with your items complete.